Reintroductions

Two years ago, the day after I returned from home assignment and being gone for two months, there was a knock at my flat door. My downstairs neighbour brought me a Tupperware of potato salad his wife had made to welcome me home again.

Czech potato salad is a very good thing! And it was so sweet to be welcomed back in this way. It is entirely possible that I simply popped the lid open and dug in with a fork to enjoy it in all its creamy goodness.

And that's what I'm thinking about as I reintroduce myself to this little space. I have missed it here!

It's funny to look at the last few posts. And it's weird to think about all that the last four years have held -

Years of a pandemic that when I last posted felt like it had been going on forever, and yet we were barely just beginning. The rules became looser, and tightened so strictly that I moved in with friends here and we all ended up getting COVID together.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I spent a year reading, researching, and writing my dissertation on the importance of self-care for single, second-culture missionary leaders. I got to graduate with distinction in my Master's Degree in late 2021.

It feels like the pandemic ended on February 24th 2022, the day I awoke to the news that Russia had began its full-scale invasion of Ukraine, and texts to say our dear teammates were on their way. Thus began months of hosting teammates as they co-ordinated buses of refugees out of and buses of aid into Ukraine from my little town four hours from the Ukraine border.

In 2022, I got a new role and became the leader of the team I've served on since I moved to Czech. I still get to lead the summer ministry team too. And it's been a learning and growing season as I continue to try to steward well the gifts and calling God has entrusted to me, while hopefully helping others to flourish in their own callings.

2023 held an operation that was the start of a long process to heal a twenty-four-year-old injury and the resulting trauma. So many, many appointments and four-hour trains to and from Prague where my operation happened.

And those are just the bigger things, the larger landmarks of these last few years. There have also been so many dear people, and so many laughs. Many mountains have been climbed, literally and metaphorically. I've read many, many books - for recreation and for learning. I've hosted lots of dinners and gathered around countless tables.

I'm now firmly in my mid-thirties and am probably starting to have a face that shows that. There have been prayers miraculously answered, and some in ways other than what I've wanted or that I'm still repeating. There have been hard-won lessons learnt, and questions with which I continue to wrestle.

I've written prayer update emails, and posts on social media, but I've missed this longer form and writing out my thoughts for this little space. So I'm returning. And I wish I could welcome us all back with potato salad. But, for now, I'll just leave these words and say thank you for stopping by. It's good to welcome you back.

On finding new paths

I am a creature of habit. Which is a little funny when you consider how much I (normally) travel and am out of environments which can sustain my little habits. I have the same smoothie every morning for breakfast. I like to sit on my balcony and read. And, for my first six and three-quarter years of living here, I had a favourite walk in my town.

I'd walk down to the river, and then through the park that runs alongside the river until I got to the "pink bridge". At that point I'd cross over the river, and turn right to walk a loop through the woods on the Polish side of the river.

That route is my favourite. I can't even tell you how many times I've walked it or ran it. I love the peace of finding a little bit of countryside in the middle of my town. 

And then lockdown happened and my favourite route became off-limits. Because maybe you noticed above, or you already knew, but my favourite route includes crossing an international border. This wonderful little town I call home straddles the border, with the river being the border. 

So, while many people didn't notice the international borders closing much in their daily life, I had some pretty big reminders. Normally the only way to know if you've crossed the border is to pay attention - there's never any border guards or barrier of any kind. And yet overnight this was the scene:

Medical tents on the Polish side.

My beloved "pink bridge", totally cordoned and fenced off, with "no entry" tape.

The Czech police guarding the border.

More tents and structures, as we settled in for the long haul.

And, I'm not going to lie, in those early days of lockdown I was a little cranky at the loss of my favourite walking path. Especially as I needed the space and fresh air to process and decompress even more.

So I went on a hunt and explored some other options and I found a new route. It's a little longer but I head in the opposite direction now, pass my church, and walk along a wooded path by a lake, slowly looping back home. 

It's a beautiful route, and I have loved running along it and walking and praying my way around it these past few months. In the midst of all the crazy and the many losses of this pandemic, it was sweet to find this new path and some other new rhythms and habits that really brought life and joy to this harder season.

Last week the border opened again and so I can go back to my normal route. More and more, life is opening up here and in many countries.

But as we re-enter the world post-lockdown, I am finding it helpful to first reflect on what it is I want to return to, and what new paths and habits I've found during this lockdown have been really fruitful and I want to continue to walk in and practice. 

Have you enjoyed any new paths, activities or routines during this season? 

Seven years on the mission field

This week marks seven years since I stepped off a one-way flight to the Czech Republic. Like so many things in life, it feels both like forever and a blink.

I remember when I'd been here only a couple of years and we had a guest in town from the UK. They shared that research with missionaries has suggested that it takes seven years for second-culture missionaries to be and to feel fully effective in their new contexts. 

When I heard that I felt both reassured and overwhelmed. Reassured because those first couple of years are always hard, as you learn language and culture, along with a new role. But I definitely felt overwhelmed, as I wondered if I'd make it to year three, nevermind year seven.

And, yet, here it is: seven years into this wild, cross-cultural ministry and life.

On my seven-year anniversary I was doing some reading for my upcoming thesis and I came across this sentence:

“[A pastor] discovered that God's plan had as much to do with who he was becoming as it did about what he was accomplishing” (from the book Resilient Ministry)

These words echo words that were spoken to me by Paul Bowman at my commissioning service before I left Northern Ireland that "The most important thing you can do for your students is to love Jesus more."

It's all so true and if I've learnt anything in the last seven years it's that I can buckle down and grit my teeth and get things done, but if it's not flowing out of a deep, abiding relationship with Christ, it's all futile.

And it's all his fruit anyway - we abide in the vine and he produces his fruit in us and through us. We may water or plant, but it's God that gives the growth. He is so faithful and able to do what he has promised. We also see it in the ministry of Jesus, who calls his disciples first to himself and then out in mission. 

I'm so grateful that that is how our God is with us - inviting us first into relationship with him, and then out, with him, into his great, wide mission in the world. 

I am so grateful for his sustaining grace in my life in how he has called me to himself and into his mission. And I'm so grateful for the many people who also follow his call by partnering with this ministry prayerfully and financially.

Let's see what year eight holds! 

Where my words are (Part 2)

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? I did not intend to leave this little space on the internet for two years but two years have indeed flown by.

And the above photo captures a lot of why I haven't had words, or time, for writing here. Since I last wrote a blog post I have submitted over 30,000 words across ten essays for the master's programme I'm pursuing. 

I first wrote 6,000 words interpreting and applying Ephesians 3:1-13, and 1,500 words on my own learning about how I read the Bible.

Next up was 6,000 words on what the gospel is and 1,500 words of reflection on my learning on the topic of evangelicalism.

My third class was not one week of teaching, but five Saturdays of classes on leadership. And I'd a few more essays for this class - three 1,500 word essays and one of 3,000 words about various aspects of leadership, and my leadership.

Finally, in February I submitted 6,000 words on how mission organisations should provide pastoral care for interns and 1,500 words reflecting on my own practice of pastoral care.

So, four classes taken. And four classes passed! What's next?

Well, in January I decided that after my February essays were submitted I'd take a break and start my thesis in September. I had no idea what the spring would hold, but even before the words "pandemic" and "lockdown" had been mentioned I knew I needed a bit of a break, and that summer is not a good time for me to be writing. 

Looking back, I am so very glad God led me to that decision! The last few months have been crazy and full enough, without also trying to work on my thesis in the midst of it all. 

I am starting to get excited for my thesis, which will be 16,000 words long. It has to be related to leadership, as that is what my master's will be in, and my leadership and pastoral care classes have provided a topic I want to spend a year working on. So, it looks like my topic will be something related to the role of self-care in helping single missionary leaders thrive in ministry long-term.

You can spot some of the books I hope to start diving into in the photo of my bookcase above, and I hope to share some of what I'm learning in this space.

I also have other ideas for things to write about and I'm excited to publish posts more regularly here!

What have you been up to in the last two years? 

Where my words are

This has been a quiet little space these past few months, hasn’t it? 

And it hasn’t been intentional. Every month I take time to think about and plan my goals, and for January, February, and March the goal has been to blog at least twice a month, if not weekly. 

And there have been things to blog about! Since the start of the year, and I last blogged, I have:

• been at a staff training conference with my organisation,
• had a visit from my sister, and other dear friends, 
• gone on holiday to Narnia (that may need more explanation)
• had a personal retreat
• had an executive team planning retreat and my S-Team planning retreat
• been on our international team women’s one night retreat
• gone on my church’s 20+ weekend retreat

These have all been incredibly good things, and each deserves it’s own blog post. But perhaps they also explain why it has been quiet here - it’s not due to the absence of things to write about, but perhaps due to their abundance. And once I get out of the habit it’s hard to feel like I can come back here without pressuring myself to catch up on all the other pieces.

One of the other factors in my quietness is that since I last blogged I also started what may turn out to be a masters degree in transformational leadership. I had my first teaching week in January, a module on biblical interpretation by Craig Blomberg. It was an incredible week, to get to learn from someone who knows and loves Scripture that much (if you search for his name on Amazon you may start to get a sense of the breadth of his knowledge).

But that also means that there is now another place for my words to go - right now, I’m mostly reading in preparation to write two essays due in July. One essay is 1500 words examining two factors that influence how I interpret Scripture. And then I’m writing 6000 words of interpretation and application of Ephesians 3:1-13 and stumbling across beautiful quotes such as this one:

"The building up of God’s kingdom, taking God’s light to darkness and standing fast, is organically connected to one’s status as a child of God. The missional aspect of salvation is not optional.” Cohick, in Ephesians

This masters simultaneously feels like it has the most perfect timing ever and the worst timing ever. I am so aware of all I need to learn and that I, God willing, have another forty plus years of serving the Lord ahead of me, whatever that may look like. This feels like an updraft helping me become more equipped for the good works God has prepared for me. But it has been challenging to learn how to effectively juggle this and my role.

So that explains where some of my words have been, are, and will be going. 

I love this little space and the people who frequent it. I’m thankful for the record of God’s faithfulness that it is. So I want to continue to faithfully record His faithfulness. I’m hoping to sit down and write for 15 minutes a week here, publishing what I get written in that time and hopefully catching this space up on what God has been doing. 

What I'm expecting in 2018

I have a confession to make: I rather enjoy watching cheesy movies. The answer to “favourite movie” will remain The Shawshank Redemption, and Wonder Woman and Dunkirk were both fantastic films this year. However, there’s just something comfortable and cozy about the predictability of Independence Day or White House Down and the triumph of good over evil. Or, if I’m feeling more in a chick-flick mood, the happy endings of Leap Year or Return to Me. 

I also really like reading crime books and being sucked into thrillers and wanting to know who did it, or how is this mess going to be resolved. And the confession that goes along with that is that I have definitely read plot synopses when I need to sleep at 1am but also need to know how it all ends. 

2018 begins in a couple of days and I’ve found myself looking at the year ahead through fingers covering my eyes because, in so many ways, I have no idea where this story is going to go and what plot twists lie ahead. I am excited to see what is going to happen, what God is going to do, but I also find myself being a little nervous. Some of that is the sense that January is going to be just a little bit crazy with the normal re-entry after home assignment, a new project that God has clearly led me to, and a training conference I’m attending. I like predictability and 2018 is already shaping up to be anything but. 

As I think back to the year that was, I cannot help but laugh at all that God did. Things that weren’t thoughts in my head 1st January 2017 became incredible realities during the year, God-given dreams that felt years away from fruition came to life. It wasn’t at all predictable, except that His faithfulness was awesome in the truest sense of that word, even in the bumps and the hard times.

So as I look at 2018 I know that I have no business predicting what the year is going to look like. As I dream and pray and think about my goals for the year ahead I’m asking God to give me His dreams and plans, because I know His plans are bigger than me simply surviving crazy months and being a little older and wiser twelve months from now. And I know that predictability holds no real comfort, that God has always been the deepest source of comfort.

Now, even as I feel a little nervous entering this year, it is with an almost giddiness. With an excitement and expectancy about what God is going to do. And here is what I’m expecting: I’m expecting Him to show up and be faithful. I’m expecting Him to be big and tender. I’m expecting Him to do the impossible and more than I could ever ask or imagine. I’m expecting to need to hear Him say “Fear not, I am with you” over and over. I’m expecting Him to show His strength in hard times. There’s a whole lot I cannot predict, but He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and I’m excited about what He has planned for 2018!

What are you expecting and anticipating as you look to this next year?  

The best decision I made in 2016

When I was in Israel last year I learnt a lot and even eighteen months later, I find myself thinking about that trip. I've lifted my orange Israel notebook off my bookshelf multiple times to refresh my memory of key points. And I continue to unpack and process some of the things I heard there as I seek to live differently because of what God showed me. 

But it was also in Israel that I made one of the best decisions of 2016. I'm not entirely sure what day it happened or where I was but it was in that country that I decided to join a gym when I returned to Czech. 

Now, there are many good reasons to join a gym. Working out a few times a week is a great thing for your body, the endorphins feel amazing, it helps your body deal with stress. I've had chronic back pain for over ten years now and working out regularly definitely helps me manage the pain and even reduce it. 

In my little hometown it's also a good idea to join a gym because the air gets so bad in winter with the low temperatures and pollution. A few times every winter a smog situation is declared and the young, elderly, and sick are advised to simply stay inside. There are times I'll walk from my car to my flat and my scarf will smell like I've become a smoker because of the pollution in the air. So it is actually not a good idea to exercise outside in the winter; I'm rather convinced it would negatively impact your health.

All the reasons so far are good motivation to join the gym. But none of them were my main reason. I wanted to join a gym to get to know more people in my community because it's easy to spend my days at the office and my weekends fill up with church and youth group. I wanted to get to know and build relationships with more non-Christians.

I picked the gym in town that's for women only and checked it out for the free week. I've been going ever since - over eighteen months. And while I'm sure there are gyms with better philosophy behind them I am so grateful for this place and the women there!

One of the things that attracted me to this gym is that you can pause your membership for a tiny fee. This works perfectly with my travel schedule and I'm still on my first twelve months of actual membership because of all the breaks when I head to other countries. And when I return after a week or a month I'm warmly welcomed and asked where I've been and what I've been up to.

Each October we have a group hike day, so I just attended my second one. It is such a fun day - we hike to the top of the mountain I can see from my living room window, and have some soup at the top, before hiking down for our main lunch at a restaurant at the bottom. Along the way women stop to pick berries or mushrooms, and we all wait for those who are a little behind as we labour up the hill.

And there are many conversations that happen along the way. This year it was wonderful to get to chat to women who I've seen multiple times but never had the chance to talk to. None of the women speak English, and they are abundantly patient with my Czech ability. We chat about the weather, our families, the gym, and all those wonderful things that make up our daily lives.

It's never long before someone asks "Wait, you're a Northern Irish girl who lives in Český Těšín? Why would you live here?" and I get to explain why I live here, what I do, and how much I love calling this little border town home. 

I'm so very thankful that God led me to this decision last year, and that I can now be part of this community. I'm praying for continued opportunities to build relationships with these women and that I'll be faithful in always being ready to give a reason for the hope that I have.